Birth Parents, Open Adoption

Meeting My Birth Mother

This piece has been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.This piece has also been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

By Katie G., Boston, MA

My name is Kathryn but everyone calls me Katie. I was born in Wisconsin when my birth mother was 18. Ever since I was young, m y mom would tell me I was adopted. In third grade I talked to her about meeting my birth mother and family. My mother said, “Well, you can look at the pictures.” I responded in a shocking way, saying, “No, I want to be able to smell her, see where she lives. I want to be able to see her and my birth family face to face.”

My mother thought about this and decided to be brave and contact my birth mother. That summer we took a three-week trip to Wisconsin. It was a mother-daughter adventure and on the way we had lots of fun talking and laughing. Once we got there we checked into a hotel and that same day my birth mother, Stacy, came to meet me. I was so excited and nervous at the same time.

When I heard the knock at the door, my mom went to answer it and in walked my birth mother. We all hugged and shook hands. We talked for a bit, and then went out for dinner. We learned so much about each other and how similar we were. We came up with a plan for the next day so I could meet the rest of my birth family, all except my birth father.

My mother and I drove to my birth cousin’s house where I would meet everyone. As I looked around, I could see everyone looking at us. Smiles greeted both me and my mother. We ate, talked and took pictures. The next day I went to the zoo and had the time of my life. On the last day my birth mother called my birth father and had him meet us at a park. I found out I have a half sister and a half brother.

When it was time to say good-bye, I was very sad but knew that even though I love my birth mother, I wouldn’t want to live with her. My mother lives in Belmont where my life is priceless, and I wouldn’t exchange it for the world.

Now every other year my mother and I go to Wisconsin to visit my birth family. It’s a lot of fun and my mom doesn’t regret having done it. It has been a fantastic experience and I am so lucky to have been able to do this. A lot of mothers are too scared to open up to the birth mother and let their child meet their birth parents. And many can’t even look for their birth parents until they’re 18.

If there are adoptive parents out there reading this, I would like to tell them that you should let your children meet their birth family if they want to and can. Yes, it is scary, but it is such an experience. This should only happen when the child is old enough to understand. I went when I was in third grade. You’ll end up connecting with your adopted child even more.

Editor’s Note: Laws regarding contacting birth parents differ from state to state.

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