Reposted with permission from the author Amy S and from the original blog Birthmom buds
So, how many of you have a hard time dealing with adoption emotions through the holidays? I am sure all of us who are reading this can raise their hand, and say that we need the counseling more than the next person. How many of you are able to see your birth children over the busy holiday season? When I was still living in Oregon, I never had a visit with Kaylee around the holidays, as they were too crazy. But we would always get together sometime in January right after the holidays. One thing that I do for Kaylee every year is buy her a Christmas ornament and write the year on the ornament. Also I will buy an identical ornament for my own collection and hang them on my tree each year. It just just another way to feel like she is here in my home.
And as if being a birthmom and getting through the holidays isn’t hard enough, some of us may be away from our families separated by many miles. How many of us have family traditions that you grew up with and you continue to do them now? I always loved the Christmas holidays in my house. My family would always go to a Christmas concert together sometime in the two holiday months. Then Christmas morning we would all open our gifts together, eat Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls, and in the afternoon go to a movie with extended family members. Still to this day that is what my family does. I am sad to say that this year I will not be home to participate with them.
Here are some ideas on how to get through the holidays:
- Buy a new ornament that reminds you of your birth child. Go see a movie with family or friends.
- Bake cookies and give them to your neighbors, co-workers, friends, family, etc…
- Donate to a Charity that supports adoption, crisis pregnancy, or children in general.
- Write a Christmas card to your child and either mail it or keep it for the future.
- Donate food to a local food bank.
- Serve food at a local homeless shelter.
- Journal about your feelings on Christmas Day.
- Spend time with family and friends.
- Make an appointment to speak with your adoption counselor. (If you have one that is.)
I hope some of the ideas help make your help a little easier! And don’t forget to reach out to your birthmom friends or join us in the forums!