adoptive parents, Birth Parents, Domestic Adoption, Open Adoption

Reflections With A Birthmother

Lindsay was really happy when she found oImageut she was pregnant fifteen years ago. She was happy until she found out her boyfriend was seeing someone else and then took off to Michigan. She realized she couldn’t raise a child on her own. So one day when Lindsay was driving in the car, she heard the commercial. The commercial you have probably heard a hundred times, but you don’t really “hear it”. That day Lindsay heard it loud and clear. “Are you pregnant, and considering adoption?” She gave Adoptions From the Heart a call. For Lindsay, the hardest part of initializing her adoption plan was realizing that she couldn’t raise a child on her own, she was facing homelessness and hunger.

The whole process was about facing reality. She was sad. She was hurt—hurt that her boyfriend Roy had put her in this place, she was mostly angry with him. When she met the adoptive family she had chosen, she realized her child would have a better life than she herself could give him at the point.

When Lindsay first read Donna and John’s profile, it sounded so perfect. Both were hard workers. Donna was a school teacher and it was clear that a child in her home would be well educated. With the help of her adoption counselor, Lindsay made plans to meet Donna and John for lunch. But before the date arrived, she went into labor. She met Donna and John and the hospital the next day, and seeing as Roy popped in and out of her life, he was at the hospital too.

Fifteen years ago when she first made her adoption plan, the adoption was closed. Closed meaning she did not plan on having an open relationship with her son. She missed his 1st birthday but it was because Roy wouldn’t allow the openness. She still feels horrible about that.

Today, Lindsay loves the open adoption aspect. She has a great relationship with her son and his adoptive parents. It’s a blessing to Lindsay to see the joy on their face when they are together and in pictures. Knowing that she made them happy and complete is the best part. Her son lives a good life. But Roy made the choice to never see his son, and they still have no relationship.

The hardest part was the early stages of the adoption plan— realizing that she didn’t have family support and that her boyfriend didn’t love her. But Lindsay has no regrets over her decision to make an adoption plan. AFTH made it more comfortable, although it wasn’t an easy decision by any means.

Lindsay’s advice to a pregnant women considering adoption is to “think it through…make sure you are at peace with your decision, always talk and ask questions. And if you’ve already decided you want to make an adoption plan, don’t look any further than AFTH. “

She does not always openly share her story with others; it brings up a lot of heartache, but mostly the heartache comes from her breakup with Roy not her adoption plan. She doesn’t feel bad about choosing adoption for her son. She knows that she would never have been able to give the life that he deserves. Today Lindsay can brag about her son because he was placed with such a wonderful and loving family.

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