Adoption, adoptive parents, Birth Parents, Parenting

5 Myths Vs. Reality in Adoption

images1) Myth: Birth parents can show up at any time to “reclaim” their child.

Reality: Once a birth parents rights have been terminated they can not “reclaim” their child. After an adoption is finalized, the adoptive parents are permanently recognized as the child’s legal parents.

2) Myth: Birth parents are irresponsible and don’t care about their children.

Reality: Besides being wrong this statement is beyond painful and demeaning to the many woman who have agonized over placing their child for adoption.  Most parents want what is best for their child, but sometimes what is best for their child is to be raised by someone else. Maybe they aren’t able to take care of them for a multitude of reasons, its best not to judge what you don’t understand.

3) Myth: It costs a lot to get a child.

Reality: While most adoptions involve fees, they are not for the child but for the services the social worker provides to the family and to the pregnant women who they are working with.  Late hours, weekend trips to the hospital, counseling, trips to the doctor etc are what fees are paid for. While these costs may be high their are ways to recoup some of your money.  There are tax credits from the federal US government, and there are grants and loans out there to help families offset these costs.

4) Myth: Adoptive parents don’t love their children as much as parents in families formed through biology. 

Reality: Love is love, it doesn’t matter how a family is formed.

5) Myth: Adoption is second best.

Reality: Parenting is deciding to bring a child into your life and take care of him or her for the rest of your life.  However that happens is always number 1. It may not have been the first choice, or first option but it is never second best, because however that child came into your life is the best.

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