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My Girlfriend’s Pregnant!: A Teen’s Guide to Becoming a Dad by Chloe Shantz-Hilkes -This short book (129 pages) is packed with really good information. While it focuses on young teen parents some of the advice is very pertinent for 20 somethings as well. Packed with information on handling stress, domestic violence, relationships, childbirth as well as adoption and abortion.
This is actually one of the few books that actually focuses on the father. Most teen pregnancy books focus on the mother but this one really talks to the father about how its okay to be scared, uncertain or have mixed emotions. There are quotes throughout the book from fathers that were interviewed regarding finding out that their girlfriend was pregnant, parenting, placing their child for adoption, and when their girlfriend decides to have an abortion. These quotes really help validate that different people feel differently about their decisions. This book really focuses on taking care of yourself and really trying to make your wishes heard. Sometimes you may not have the final say in what happens to the pregnancy but at least you can voice your opinion.
When the pregnancy test turns positive there are a whole lot of mixed emotions this book can help sort through them and help steer you toward making your wishes known, discussing what is going to happen and supporting your girlfriend in the best possible way you can. amazon.com price $12.95 (pb)
I’m Having Their Baby Season 1 – While there are many naysayers about this show I’m not sure they have actually watched it. I do hate the title and wish they would change it but sometimes we can’t have everything. This show is very focused on the story of the pregnant women and their reasons for choosing to make an adoption plan. Sometimes they have support of their families and other times they don’t and its a realistic view of the struggle and stress it is to make this decision. Not all of these women actually follow through with the placement, some decided to parent and then realize they can’t do it and go back to their original decisions. Its an emotional roller-coaster that is a very realistic peak inside the world of women who are making this difficult choice. I loved that they were from all different walks of life and different situations, some were young, some older and some already had children that they were parenting. It think this really helps to shatter the myth of who a “birth mother” is and what negative stereotype of why a woman would choose to make this decision.
There wasn’t a lot of involvement from the birth fathers but in a few episodes I was happy to see that they stated that the father has the same rights as the mother. The show didn’t do a great job of letting the audience know that in different states there is a period of time when the woman can revoke her consent to adoption and this time frame differs state to state but they did wrap each episode with a video from the birth mother or mother stating how she was doing and I’m assuming that these were filmed after the revocation period ended. Overall if you are looking to see the side of adoption that most people try to avoid or have negative feelings about this is a good show to watch. Amazon has both seasons 1 & 2 available for streaming for $2.99 an episode or $14.99 a season. I didn’t find it on Hulu or netflix.