prospective adoptive parents

Ending the “Right Path to Parenthood” Myth

It’s an exciting time when you first decide to begin your family. Whether you are single or a couple, there are several routes you can take to realize your dream of becoming a parent. As you begin to share your desire of parenthood with your family, friends and those around you, be certain there will be lots of advice coming your way. Some advice will be helpful and some you can decide to smile and nod and not give another thought.

You have now just stepped dipped your toe into the world of parenting wars. It begins long before the formula or breast milk, stay at home or working family, to vaccinate or not, private school or public school debates. The truth is, other parents can sometimes be the worst critics when it comes to counseling parents-to-be.

Just some unhelpful comments heard through the grapevine:

To a couple starting IVF – Why would you spend all that money and go through all the trouble when there are already children in this world who needs homes.

To a single prospective adoptive mother – Why are you doing this by yourself, it’s much easier when there are two parents. Why not just wait for Mr. Right?

To a couple who is in process of domestic adoption – Why don’t you just adopt from foster care, it’s free? Why aren’t you considering international adoption where there are so many more children who need homes?

To a couple who is in the process of international adoption – Why would you go overseas when there are children in the U.S. who need homes?

To someone adopting through foster care – Don’t you want an infant? Are you sure you want a child that’s been through foster care?

Can we just please decide right now to end the assumption that there is only one right path to parenthood? Or that the only way to parenthood is the same as your journey?

Even those who choose not to have children are often met with a onslaught of comments. “Well why not” or “in time you will change your mind”.

The bottom line is that we live in a world full of choices and no one path is right for everyone. It’s important for families to consider their own situation, explore all their options and choose the path that is right for them!


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