Adoption, prospective adoptive parents

There Are NO PASSIVE ADOPTIONS: We Just Could Not Hold Back Feelings of Love

Originally posted March 2011 by Rebekah McGee. Rebekah a New York Adoption Consultant with Adoptions from the Heart. She and her husband adopted an infant son from Ethiopia in 2012 after a 2.5 year adoption process. Their family then had two biological daughters in 2013 and 2017. They are a transracial and special-needs family as her oldest child has multiple disabilities.

I am about to let you in on a big secret…

When we started this process last March, I thought to myself that I wouldn’t let myself get that emotionally invested, in case this whole adoption thing didn’t pan out. I didn’t want to be vulnerable or allow myself to be hurt or disappointed.

Let me just tell you, that didn’t last.

I think any adoptive parent will testify that there are no passive adoptions. You can’t really half-heartedly spend hours of time on education, paperwork, or homestudies, or be willing to spend the thousands of dollars it takes to bring home a baby, if you’re not “in it all the way” and in love with the baby you will bring into your family. Sure, we don’t know who our baby is yet, but let me tell you – they are already prayed over and loved.

Even though this road can be frustrating and very vulnerable at times (imagine notarizing all your private information, making lots of copies of it, and sending it to multiple people), it is worth it. We haven’t even met our baby and we know that this journey is worth it.

Recently I was chatting with a friend about the possibly longer wait, and she asked why didn’t we just try to get pregnant now. Although a pregnancy could always happen (unplanned, that is) we are “all in” for this adoption. Our hearts are set and we know this is the right path for us. We are anticipating a little boy or girl that is not born to us and we are ready for all that is ahead with adoption. One day when we are having conversations with our child about his/her adoption story, I know that the child may wrestle with his or her identity and if it was a “wanted” child. I’ll tell you what I will say: you were so wanted! You cannot accidentally adopt and you cannot half-heartedly commit to this process. We are so excited and look forward to the day our family is complete and this wait is over.

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