Adopting a child is a milestone achievement in itself, and while it is an amazing feeling to have a child, it does not mean it is easy. Communication is vital in every relationship, and open communication with your child is no exception. As your adoptive child begins to grow older and experience new things, they might have expected questions about their adoption. It is essential to have open conversations, so they know their story and can feel better about who they are and where they come from.
STATE THE FACTS
Yes, the adoption process can have many different outcomes. An adoptee can have communication and even visits from their birth parents in an open adoption. However, some adoptees may have no contact with their birth parents, which is fine too. When questions arise regarding birth parents, be sure, to be honest about the situation and explain the terms of their adoption.
To start, it is vital that, as an adoptive parent, you are completely transparent with your adoptee. If you are not transparent and leave your adoptee with open-ended thoughts, then that can cause more confusion in the future, and your adopted child may not have faith in coming to you and might seek answers elsewhere. When answering questions and having these conversations, it is also beneficial to keep your child’s age in mind. The last thing any parent wants is to confuse their child by providing details about their life that they cannot understand or do not need to know at that moment.
ADDRESS THEIR RACE (IF APPLICABLE)
If you are parenting a child of a different race than your own, it is crucial to make sure the adoptee knows their background and how their skin color may impact their encounters in life (whether good or bad). By having this talk, you can prepare a child for the future and make them more aware of how they handle certain situations in the future.
The adoption process itself has a lot of weighted topics that should be addressed for people and adoptees to learn about. The stereotypes surrounding adoption can be heartbreaking and send mixed messages. Hence, adoptees need to get a complete picture of their personal situation and have an overall understanding of how adoption can be different for everyone.