Stages of Waiting

adoption papers

We’ve all heard of the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross model for the stages of grief, but what about the Adoption stages of waiting? We all know how difficult and frustrating the process can be – we also know how joyous and amazing it can be as well. Sometimes the frustration gets overwhelming and you need a break. Well when you do, read our lighthearted list of stages of waiting – we hope it makes you smile as you embark on your own roller coaster ride of emotions.

1. Relief. You have finally decided that you are going to adopt. No ifs, ands, or buts! You feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, you finally know what you are going to do!

2. Overwhelm. You just got stuck with all this paperwork to do for adoption and you are trying to continue with your everyday life at the same time and it just doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to get done.

3. Joy. Your paperwork is finally done and your classes are completed – you’re ready to be matched! You’ve hurried up to this point and now… You must wait.

4. Doubt in yourself. Why hasn’t any expectant parents picked you yet? Is it your profile key? Did you say something wrong on your profile? Are there not enough pictures of yourself in there? Are there too many pictures? Do you come off as a nerd? Do you come off as conceded? What don’t they see in us?

5. Doubt it will ever happen. It’s been a lifetime, ok its been three months, and you haven’t been picked. Other couples who applied after you are getting picked. No one will ever pick you and you might as well just get on with your life knowing you’ll never have a baby through adoption.

6. Exhilaration. YOU’VE BEEN PICKED! The phone rang and you picked it up and you’ve been picked by an expectant couple and they want to meet you!

7. Insecurity. Will they not like you when you finally meet them? What if they don’t like the color shirt that you’re wearing? What if they decide you’re too (insert any adjective here) to parent their baby? What if you don’t click? What if they don’t get your husband’s humor?

8. Overwhelming Excitement. The meeting went so well and the baby is due in a month! You and the expectant parents have came up with an agreement for everyone and everything looks like a perfect match and connection!

9. Fear of parenthood. Are you ready to be a parent? What if the baby crys every time you hold her? What if the mother decides to parent? Do you have enough diapers? What about wipes? How many bottles will we need? How will you EVER get through this next month?!

10. Joyful, uneasy anticipation. She’s gone into labor. She sounds like she’s in pain. It’s been 10 hours since her water broke.. is something wrong? Is everything okay? Is she okay? Where’s the baby? Is the baby okay?

11. Exhilaration. The baby is finally here! The paperwork has been signed and you’re ready to go home. You’re ready for all of the challenges and joys of being a parent — Your happy ending. 🙂

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