Re-homing: Parents Place Their Children on Internet Forums When Adoptions Don’t Go As Expected


Re-homing In 2013, Reuters Investigates wrote an article exposing the practice of families “privately re-homing” their children adopted from overseas when they became overwhelmed or felt as though the placement was no longer a good fit.

Using online messaging boards such as Yahoo And Facebook,  parents would place ads advertising and describing their unwanted children, communicate with prospective new parents, and essentially pass their children off to strangers, often times illegally and with little to no government  scrutiny or consequences.  The phrase “ re-homing” is often used in reference to finding a new home for pets, and similar to an ad that would be placed for an animal , parents would use phrases such as “ Good Boy” , “ Handsome” , or “ Eager to please” In their advertisements . During their investigation, Reuters uncovered about 5,029 posts on the Yahoo message board, and noted that on average there was a child advertised to be re-homed at least once a week.

Many of the children advertised on the adoption disruption board were dealing with emotional and behavioral disabilities, such as Reactive Attachment Disorder ( RAD) – A condition that prevents children from bonding emotionally with parents or caregivers, and Post Traumatic Stress  Disorder (PTSD)  As well as ADD/ADHD and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Laws Affecting Re-Homing

Unfortunately there are few laws put into place to prevent the dangerous act of illegal re-homing. The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children or ICPC is an agreement among the US States, the District of Columbia, and the US Virgin Islands that requires families to secure approval of authorities in both states when custody of a child is transferred across state lines to someone outside the family.  This law was put into place so that prospective parents could be properly vetted, yet despite this law being put into place, it is rarely enforced due to lack of knowledge by local law enforcement and because of failure of parents to take proper legal action. When this law is enforced, the magnitude of the punishment varies, with some states charging parents with criminal sanctions such as misdemeanors, and other states not explicitly stating what the punishment is. If a child is re-homed illegally, the child must be immediately removed and returned to their parents, but parents are rarely punished for their actions

Parents offer their children for re-homing on the internet because they feel there are limited resources to help them post-adoption. Therapeutic treatment is often expensive and social services in many states do not offer help for families. Some parents feel that in international adoption there is not enough information disclosed about children that are being placed for adoption and this makes them ill-equipped to handle emotional and behavioral issues

The Universal Adoption Accreditation Act of 2012, which went into effect in July 2014, was put into place to insure that international adoption agencies, even those that are not part of the Hague Agreement,  are held to the same standards as domestic adoptions. International Agencies that are accredited and approved are subject to ongoing monitoring and observation and are held accountable for failure to adhere to accreditation standards. The safeguards put into place by this act include:

  • The inability to obtain children through sale, exploitation, abduction, or trafficking
  • Parents will receive training to better prepare themselves for the challenges they may face when raising an adopted child
  • Agencies must ensure that the inter-country adoption is in the best interest of the child
  • Agencies must ensure that their personnel are qualified and appropriately trained and provide adoption services in an ethical manner
  • Agencies must respond to complaints about their services and activities and may not retaliate against their clients who complain

While the initial reaction may be to judge these families who have re-homed their children, take note that the resounding reason that families gave for rehoming their child was due to a lack of resources to help them with handling the emotional and behavioral disabilities that they were ill-prepared for.  The fact of the matter is that some adoptions will disrupt in order to find a better equip environment for the child. The problem is that there are a lack of options and support for families to disrupt the adoption safely. It is the stigma of a failed adoption as well as lack of resources and support for families in crisis that have helped to create the re-homing problem.

Educating Families During and After the Adoption Process


Families in crisis should absolutely focus on the best interest and safety of their child however poor and unsafe discussions are often made when families feel backed in a corner with no access to help.

Adoption education should not end once the adoption is finalized, but should continue to be a lifelong learning process.  Families may need additional support after the adoption and during various developmental stages throughout their child’s life. It is also important for placing agencies to not only focus on the child’s adjustment but also observing the parent’s post adoption adjustment as well so thing such as depression or indications of the inability to cope to a child’s needs are caught before it becomes a crisis situation.

The placing agency should be the family’s first call when in crisis. Agencies need to be able to offer services and support long after placement that a family may need. There needs to be no only more re-homing prevention but also more options and support that are easily accessible to families as well as a process in place to disrupt the adoption safely if all else fails.

Check out the websites listed below to see what government resources are offered to adoptive families.



5 Tips for Surviving the Holidays as a Birthparent

5 Tips for Surviving the Holidays as a Birthparent

The holiday season is a time devoted to celebrating love, friendship, and family. It can also be a time that is particularly hard on birthparents. Whether you have recently placed your child for adoption or have been separated from your child for some time, the absence of your child during the holidays may bring a sense of grief and loss. Even if the initial pain has subsided, you may still be wondering what it might have been like had you made a different choice. If you find yourself feeling defeated during this time of the year, here are some tips other birthparents have found helpful in getting through the holiday season.

Establish a Support System
The holiday season can be overwhelming. You may be feeling like your emotions are too much for you to handle on your own. The good news is that you don’t have to. While there is no cure to take the feelings of loss away, it can be helpful to combat these feelings by building a support system to help you work through them. Reach out to family, close friends, or even a counselor. It may also be helpful to connect with other birthparents that may be going through the same situation as you. Contact an organization that offers grief support over the holidays and look into the resources that they offer, BirthMomBuds is also a helpful site run by birthmothers that may be able to offer some support.

Reach Out To Your Child
If you have an open adoption, collaborate with your child’s parents on a time during the holidays that you can spend together. If this isn’t possible,maybe you could request to have additional pictures sent to you or maybe even talk on the phone or skype together. Or consider writing your child a letter. Even if your adoption is not open and you know the letter will not be received, writing one may still be a helpful way to express your feelings.

Start a New Tradition
Even if you can’t be with your child during the holidays, you can still create rituals and traditions to help you grieve your loss. You can incorporate your adopted child into the celebration by creating an ornament for them to hang on the tree, lighting a special candle for them, making a playlist, or a holiday scrapbook.

Remember Your Decision Was Made Out of Love
Although you may be overwhelmed with grief during the holidays, don’t beat yourself up about how you’re feeling. When doubt creeps in your thoughts, remember why you chose the route of adoption. As a mother, you considered all your options and made the decision you felt was best for your baby. That certainly doesn’t mean you don’t love your child or that you didn’t want to parent, it means that you selflessly put your child’s needs above your own and did what you felt was best. Sometimes journaling can be a great way to express your feelings and help you work through the sadness. This is also the time to really lean on your support system to talk about your feelings and have supportive people around to help you through the struggle.

Take Time Out for Yourself
The holidays are a time for attending gatherings and spending time with family and friends. Although certain activities may be a tradition, don’t feel pressured to attend any event that makes you feel upset or uncomfortable. For instance, if your family and friends weren’t supportive in your decision to choose adoption, spending a lot of time around them may make you stressed out. Give yourself some time and space and remember that your health and well- being comes first.
Although the holidays may be a difficult time, remember that they don’t last forever! Allow yourself the time to grieve, but don’t forget to enjoy the holidays.

November 2015 Book Reviews


All books purchased by clicking the link in our review will give AFTH a small donation from  If you are interested in purchasing one of the books in our review please consider buying it through our link to

In their voicesIn Their Voices: Black Americans on Transracial Adoption by Rhonda M. Roorda – This is a straight forward and very eye opening book for white families adopting black or bi-racial children.  With a lot of adoption history as well as civil rights history there are interviews with prominant figures that speak on helping trans-racially adopted children learn about their roots, learn what it means to come from whatever rich culture they are from.  Its about helping white families empower their children of color without sugar coating the realities, its about teaching parents how to help their children of color grow up in a still very racist society.  While some of the content of this book might be very in your face, its needed to break through the barriers of many white parents who take on a color blind approach to parenting. The world isn’t color blind so adopting transracially often means getting out of your comfort zone for the sake of your children.

This book also provides a wake up call to agencies and those who place children for adoption to educate families and really find the appropriate families to raise children of color.  Not all families are cut out for the job, it’s not always comfortable, its not always easy but the rewards are worth it when you raise a confident child who has a sense of cultural identity. Straddling two worlds can be complicated as Ms. Roorda can attest to as a woman of color raised by white parents.  This is not a book bashing trans-racial adoption in fact she supports it but also encourages families to step up and look at the hard questions in deciding if trans-racial adoption is the right fit for thier family and encourages agencies to take step out of their comfort zones and really teach families about what trans-racial adoption really entails. price $25.16 (pb)

which one of you is the motherWhich One of You is the Mother?: The Absolutely Positively True Adoption Story of Two Gay Dads by Sean Michael O’Donnell – This is a quick often laugh out loud funny collection of essays written by Sean O’Donnell about how his life changed after adopting two children through foster care.  He touches on the hoops they had to jump through, some of the feelings they encountered at having to choose certain criteria in their children, and how it felt not knowing the past of these two wonderful kids that are now part of their family. Parenting changes you, and your life and Sean O’Donnell has some amazing insights into how wonderful and underappreciated some of them are.  If you are looking for something light but with some insight this is a good choice. price$7.99 (PB)  Kindle Price $4.99

Surviving the Wait during the Holidays


The holidays are a time for celebration, happy moments, and spending time with loved ones. But for those who are waiting to adopt, the holidays may become a source of stress or a reminder of what is missing, and friends and family may not be able to understand. Waiting to adopt can be hard at any time during the year, but it is particularly difficult during the holiday season. Here are some helpful tips for navigating the holidays while you wait.
Avoid Things That Are Triggering
If you know that being around pregnant women and small children makes you upset, limit your time around them. The holidays are filled with social events, but you don’t have to show up to every one of them. Yes, you should attend your office party at work. But, it’s okay to skip the party hosted by your friend with a newborn baby if you don’t feel up to it.
Prepare Yourself for Uncomfortable Conversation
Holiday parties are filled with small talk. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself engaged in a conversation with someone you’ve never met before and are met with questions such as “how many children do you have?” Don’t let these conversations catch you off guard. Understand that these questions are bound to come up and prepare your responses ahead of time.
Be Honest
Sharing your feelings regarding your adoption process with family and friends can help to take some of the weight of your shoulders. If you haven’t shared with your friends and family that you are struggling to start a family or that you are trying to adopt, now is a good time to do so. Letting them know now will help them to be more sensitive towards your feelings and to avoid making remarks that may make you upset.
Get Support from Other Waiting Parents
Being surrounded by children and families during the holiday season may make you feel alone. Reaching out to other parents who are also waiting to adopt can help you to realize that you are not the only one experiencing these feelings. Your family and friends may not be able to understand your emotions, but other parents who are waiting to adopt will. Look into joining a waiting parent support group through your agency or connecting via online forums.
Do Something Special for Yourself
Some waiting parents may blame themselves for their inability to start a family. Remember that it is not your fault! Instead of beating yourself up about it, channel your energy into doing something nice for yourself. Have an extra glass of wine, buy yourself a gift, or take yourself out for a spa day.
Take a Breather
You have worked hard all year; you deserve to take a break. Taking a step back to think about things other than your adoption process can give you some time to relax and recharge. Hang out with friends, read a book, go to a family gathering. Remind yourself that you are not running away from the issue, but instead are giving yourself time to breath, and when you are ready to think about adoption again you will come back with a renewed perspective.

Remember That the Holidays Don’t Last Forever
Although it may feel like a foreboding time, remember that the holidays are really short and only come around once a year. Enjoy yourself and the time you get to spend with your loved ones because, before you know it, they will be over!

Searching For Answers: Finding Your Birth Family

Searching for Answers

Prior to adolescence, children become extremely curious about their adoption stories and get into the stage of asking questions to fulfill their curiosity. Once they reach the adolescent age they start to demand fuller and more actual answers. Some of the most popular questions that will be thrown at you are;
• Why was I adopted?
• What’s the truth about my adoption?
• Why do I feel different from everyone else?
• What will happen when I leave home?
• Who am I?

The most important question that may arise and take a big impact on everyone’s life is; is it okay if I search  for my birthparents? As parents you will have to remember and understand that when your children think about their birthparents and show interest in meeting with them, it doesn’t mean that they love you any less. Research has shown that ALL adopted children ponder the existence and character of their birthparents at some point in their lives. This is why open adoption has become so popular in the past few decades. If you are adoptive parents in a situation where you didn’t go through with open adoption and your child now would like to search for their birthparents, certain factors and steps will need to come into play.

Search Support: What Every Adoptive Parent Should Know

Supporting the Adoptee

There are many important guidelines to take into consideration that adoptive parents must consider when their adult child begins the search and reunion journey. For most adoptees, search is experienced as an expansion of sense of self and NOT as a rejection of the adoptive family.

Before the Search

1. Keep a dialogue open

You should talk with your child about their birth family from the day he/she joins the family. This conversation does not need to occur every day but to share information at a developmentally age appropriate level once in a while is important. As an adoptive parent, withholding information from an adoptee is not a sign of love and protection but a sign of disrespect, indicating their lack of trust that the adoptee can make adult decisions. In the end, openness trumps secrecy every time, no matter what the adoption story is.

2. Support but do not direct a search

In a lot of situations adoptive parents become tempted to move from showing support to taking control of the search. As an adoptive parent you may assist by providing information such as the adoption order, the social history of the birth family, papers from the agency and communications from social workers, lawyers and doctors involved in the placement. All of this is support but do NOT take over the search, it is important that the adoptee’s search must follow their own pace. Remember as parents you are there for encouragement and support through the emotional highs and lows of the process.

3. Do NOT speak negatively about the birthparents

Some adoptive parents are prone to speak of the birth family is negative tones in an attempt to bring the adoptee closer to their family. Speaking negatively about the birth family does not discourage the adoptees from searching but in fact makes the adoptees desire to make contact with their birthparents that much stronger. If you wish to keep your child close, hold adult conversations with them and never speak ill about their birth family.

4. Watch your wording when speaking to your adoptee

In search and reunion, “no” often means “not yet” or “I can’t tell you.” Sometimes adoptees reject a search for fear of hurting their parents which in some cases results in the adoptee hiding the search from their parents and in other cases it means delaying the search. To delay a search denies the adoptee the opportunity to receive the emotional support from the adoptive parents. The need to search for your birth parents as an adoptee is normal development part of the process of adoption and if you ignore or discourage the search, you are abrogating your responsibility as parents.

During and After the Search

1. Adoptee’s emotional roller coaster

Following the reunion, adoptees could come emotionally involved with the birth family and exclusion of their adoptive family may occur. As the adoptive parent you will be playing an important role as a supporter in their emotional roller coaster which will include changes in their mood, anger or depression. There are a lot of different situations that will arise in a search and reunion. There can be a huge feeling of let down after meeting their birth family or they might love them and want to spend every waking moment with them. No matter what the outcome is, just know as an adoptive parent the best thing you can do for your child is be there as their support system.

2. Facing and responding to loss of time

For adoptive parents, if you didn’t adopt your child there is the loss of the child that they never had. For the birthparents there is a loss of child that they did not get to raise and for the adoptee, there is the loss of the self they might have been if there life would have been different and the adoption never happened. Without the search and reunion, adoptees also lose a full medical, genetic and historical history that links them to their origins. In turn, all participants in an adoption must face issues of loss which is accompanied by grief. For a re-connection and reunion to work there must be mutual recognition of loss on all parties.

3. Re-connection of Adoptive families and birthparents

In a lot of cases, adoptees prefer that their adoptive parents join them in reconnecting with the birth family. Successful integration of the two families requires patience and acceptance. The two families may differ in ethnicity, life experiences and social classes. In some instances, adoptive and birth mothers make strong connections right away which will allow the adoptee to feel a sense of relief. A successful reunion of the two families will occur if both sides recognize that the search and reunion is about the adoptee feeling connected to both sides.

Searching for the Birthparents

Searching for Birthparents

Unfortunately, if the adoption was “closed”, it could be extremely hard to find your birth family. If you are lucky to live in a state with open adoption records and are 18 years or older, you can just ask the state for a copy of your original birth certificate. If your adoption was in: Maine, Alaska, Kansas, New Hampshire, Oregon or Alabama, you can request your original birth certificate which will have your birth parents names on it. Unfortunately, some states have limited open adoption record laws and much more research will have to come into play.
1. Adoptive Parents: As an adoptee, searching for your original identity, the first thing you need to do is to try and find as much information as you can from your adoptive parents. Ask them for any paperwork they might have from your adoption
2. Agency: The agency that facilitated the adoption keep their own records and have their own procedures involved for reunions which usually makes them a good place to start an adoption search.
3. Lawyers: Lawyers that were involved in the adoption process might have paperwork on hand with names of each party.
4. Adoption Reunion Registries: Your biological family might have begun searching for you as well and this is where adoption reunion registries will come into play. The two registries that we would recommend which have a high success rate are and
5. Social Media: In today’s society, social media has become an amazing tool for adoption searches. Search engine sites such as Google and Bing have helped many families reunite as well. Here are a few tips if you use social media in your search to find your birthparents.

• The birth date, sex of the adoptees and the location are going to be the most important KEYWORDS of a search.
• Create a blog for your adoption; search blogs are much more searchable through search engines.
• Create a FB page with a good picture, share and tag the adoption search page.
The search for your birth parents could be a long process, it is great to keep a positive attitude, but try to be ready for any type of unexpected situation

Remember, whether you are an adoptive parent or an adoptee that is deciding to go down the path of search and reunion, you must be prepared to find troubling details about the birth family. Think about all situations and outcomes that could occur before beginning the search. A majority of adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents will say that their search and re-connection journey was successful. Whether the reunion develops into a positive relationship with both families will depend on the willingness and acceptance of differences and changes on all their lives.

Explaining Adoption to Your Child in Age Appropriate Ways

The process of explaining adoption to your child can be emotional. Feelings can range from fearful to joyful as you think of how to explain adoption to your child in ways that they can understand. While navigating this process, it is important to use age appropriate language in order to convey concepts that may be difficult for your child to understand. Here are some helpful tips to make this process just a little easier at any developmental level.


Talking to Infants about Adoption

Most experts suggest that parents talk openly about their child’s adoption, even during infancy, to set a good tone for later on, when their children are older and will want to explore their feelings on these issues more deeply.
One parent describes telling his one year old daughter she was adopted through a story he created about a squirrel. He told his daughter that the squirrel’s parents didn’t have enough nuts to give her, but found another mother and father who did have enough. Although his daughter could not yet grasp the fact that she was adopted, the story was a good way to introduce the concept.
Experts believe that it is important to begin using the word “adoption” early on and regularly. Although the word shouldn’t be the primary focus of the conversation, it is important to incorporate the word so that it feels natural to use and does not become taboo.


Talking to Children Ages 1-5 about Adoption

At this age, your child may be starting to understand the basic concept of reproduction. They may begin to ask questions about where babies come from and may wonder whether or not they were “in mommy’s tummy”. If your child is asking this question, you can say something such as “You grew inside your birth mother’s tummy, and then you came to live with us.”

Family Speaking About Adoption
It is important to take cues from your child. If they do not seem that into their adoption story, don’t dwell on the subject. It is also important to be patient. Even if your child acknowledges that they were adopted, they may not fully understand the concept until they develop a deeper understanding of conception and pregnancy.
At this age, children generally have positive emotions towards their adoption, and it is perfectly natural for them to be inquisitive about the story of their birth. So don’t become frustrated if your child does not seem to get it or continues to ask questions, even if they are the same questions over and over.


Talking to Children Ages 6-12 about Adoption

Don’t be surprised if your child, who was so excited to talk about their adoption story during ages 1-5, no longer seems to want to talk about their adoption during ages 6-12. Just because they are no longer talking about it doesn’t mean that they are no longer thinking about it. At this age, children often begin to have a better grasp on the concept of adoption and are now beginning to realize the relinquishment aspect of adoption. A child’s normal response to understanding relinquishment is sadness, grief over the loss of their birthparents, and feelings of rejection along with the desire to understand why their birthparents would decide not to parent.
School-aged children are also seeking approval and acceptance from their classmates at this age. They want to fit in and be like their friends, not stand out. Adopted children may feel as though they stand out simply because they are adopted. Your child may be faced with the attitudes of other children towards their adoption and questions from classmates that may not be as accepting as ones that they are used to. School assignments, such as creating a family tree, may create additional anxiety for your child. It is important to work with your child, as they enter school, to create a plan on how to respond to questions, comments, and assignments that may be difficult to handle.

Family with Older Adopted Children
Watching your child grieve can be difficult, but it is important to understand that your child’s feelings are not about you. Feelings of loss and sadness are not a sign of rejection for their adoptive family.
If the adoption is open, having your child write letters to their birth family can be a helpful way to have their questions about relinquishment answered, or to simply give them the opportunity to speak with them. In such cases, it is also important to work with the birth family to prepare them to discuss some topics that may be difficult or painful to talk about. You will also want to talk about how to best support your child’s needs for security and reassurance.
Remember not to force your child to talk about their adoption if they don’t want to, but to keep the lines of communication open and positive. You should send signals affirming to your child that it’s okay to talk about it. For instance, you could say, “You did great at your basketball game today. You’re a very good athlete. I wonder if your birthmother was also good at sports.”


Talking to Children Ages 12-21 about Adoption

The primary focus of most adolescents is developing their sense of self identity and thinking of who they would like to become. Adopted teens are no different, but their experiences may be more difficult because of their emotions towards their adoption.
You child may associate their relinquishment with a loss of a part of their identity, which they are trying to develop and express. Feelings of anger and frustration may surface as they are trying to reprocess the impact of their relinquishment on their self worth and belonging. This may cause them to struggle with their desire for greater independence with anxiety about separation from their adoptive parents and fear about whether or not they can succeed on their own.


Key Points

  1. Keep Communication open – Your children need to know that they are able to discuss these subjects when they are ready, not necessarily when you think it’s a good time. Be available and willing to listen.
  2. Consult books and online resources- Know that you are not alone. There are a number of resources and families out there that are affected by adoption. Many of them have, or have had, the same questions as you. Books and resources can answer these questions and provide helpful advice.
  3. Join a support group – it can be helpful to join a support group to talk to other adoptive parents about their experiences. Talking with other families about their adoption processes and understanding that you are not alone can help provide encouragement during difficult times.
  4. Remember that your child is an individual- Accept your child for who they are. Don’t pressure your child to respond in a particular way. Give your child permission to be themselves, especially when it comes to interest, goals, and feelings.

Remember to reassure your child that you love them, are committed to them, and that they hold an important place in your family.

October 2015 Book Reviews


All books purchased by clicking the link in our review will give AFTH a small donation from  If you are interested in purchasing one of the books in our review please consider buying it through our link to

God and JetfireGod and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother by Amy Seek – Amy Seek writes a gutwrenching account of placing her son for adoption. Seek has an open adoption with the adoptive family of her son, this means that she meets with them, talks to them and exchanges correspondence.  At the beginning of any adoption these days the power really lies with the mother.  She is carrying the child, she gets to choose a family, and ultimately it is up to her to decide if she can go through with placement.

Seek and her then boyfriend Jevn, take finding a family very seriously.  They compose a list of about 100 questions to ask families to see if their values are the same, they interview couples and really take the whole process of finding the “right” family very seriously. After several hours of labor Seek decides to nurse her son, and then ultimately starts having second thoughts.  She winds up taking him home and parenting him for about a month before she relinquishes her rights.  Given that she had a strong support system and people willing to help I found this book really lacking in the reasons why she decided to place.  Its a huge missing gap.

Throughout the book you can feel the grief, anger and frustration that Seek still seems to be dealing with regarding her placement of her son, who by the end of the book is a preteen.  After placement the power shifted to the adoptive parents and away from Seek leaving her powerless and lost with her emotions.  I’m not sure where all the support that she was offered to keep her child went after she placed her baby but this seems to also be a major hole in the story.

Despite these big issues and some others that crop up regarding Seek’s later pregnancies I don’t think I have ever read a more honest and soul bared account of placing a child for adoption. The mix of emotions, grief, anger, happiness, relief, frustration, loss, etc are laid bare for the reader.  However that being said some of those emotions often felt detached and just out of reach. This book is a good conversation starter, because as this book proves there is so much more to adoption than just placing a baby, its a lifelong commitment and a lifelong journey for everyone involved in the process. prices: Kindle $12.00, Paperback $15.00, Hardcover $19.67

Belated BabyThe Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility by Kelly James Enger and Jill S. Browning – Approximately 7.3 million American women have struggled with infertility; the echoes of which may be felt long after they live out the dream of having thier own baby either through birth, adoption or surrogacy. Many women often find themselves mentally unprepared for motherhood. They feel they have no right to complain about the frustration and confusion that all new sleep deprived parents experience, after all, they worked so hard to have a baby. This book shares the stories of many women who have gone through this post infertility depression. It also discusses the many stages that couples may go through as they struggle with infertility and then ultimately find themselves new parents. This book is straight forward and validating as well as encouraging to those who find themselves in this position. prices:  Paperback $14.65

In on itIn On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends. (Mom’s Choice Award Winner) by Elisabeth O’Toole – This book is smart, thoughful and full of humor. O’Toole guides readers through adoption – and all the unique stuff that accompanies parenting in a family with adopted children. In On It opens a path for friends and relatives to become insiders to the process and is a great resource for people who want to support their loved ones, but aren’t always sure what to do or say. prices: Kindle $8.49, Paperback $11.83