“Adoption was a bumpy ride – very bumpy. But, God, was it worth the fight.” – Mariska Hargitay
Wherever your path to parenting leads you, you can always look back to things that you wish you had known in the beginning. Here are a few helpful things to consider before jumping head first into your adoption journey:
Adoption is a beautiful, amazing way to create a family. Families come in all shapes and sizes, forming yours will be one of your greatest, most wonderful accomplishments.
Be sure to surround yourself with a supportive group of individuals. Toxic people will only put a damper on your attitude, therefore they are not welcome. You need friends and family members who will mimic your excitement and who will help you plan all of the common ceremonies that traditionally come with starting a family.
Respect your child’s place of birth and family of origin. Their birth parents are an important part of your child’s life. You should always feel open to talking about the birth family with your child.
Prepare to receive a range of different types of criticism. You may come across some negative people whose intentions do not necessarily mean well. People will tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, as well as ask intrusive questions. You can either choose ignore them entirely, or inform them that your business is YOUR business and no one else’s. Always remain positive and stand your ground!
The adoption community is larger than you may think. Your friends and family may not completely understand the emotional turmoil that you experience (on a regular basis). There are plenty of support groups, and people who you can reach out to who may have a similar situation.
At the end of the day – no matter how long, stressful, hectic, or draining it may be, you are still your child’s parent. That will never change. Adoption absolutely has its challenges, but it is much more rewarding.
Recognize that adoption is a loss, and not just a gain. It isn’t easy to comprehend the pain your child endures, or will endure. Their story begins with loss, you must learn to accept as well as respect that that happened. You can only control where to go from there.
You will have ZERO regrets. The up and down rollercoaster ride full of complicated emotions make you stronger day by day. If you were given the choice to do it all over again, you will do it in a fraction of heartbeat.
The path to parenthood is not as simple and smooth as one may desire, but despite this, it is definitely worth the bumpy ride.